Posted by: arnegrim | October 20, 2011

I am forgiven…

How does one forgive?  It seems fairly straightforward… you… forgive.  But what does that look like?  What does that feel like?  The idea of having your sins forgiven… forgotten… is wonderful yet confusing.  Sin is not a small thing.  It doesn’t dress itself in my being offended or upset, and when I think back I have a hard time coming up with an example of when I have been sinned against.  10 years ago I probably would have provided a list… but as I’ve grown older (and hopefully wiser) my experience has made me reflect on things differently, to realize that my being offended does not constitute being sinned against.  So, what is forgiveness?  I suppose that it can’t be defined without asking what sin is.  Sin is destructive.  It is damaging to not only the person committing it but to the person committed against.  At its very core sin is about lack of worth, lack of value.  If I were to truly sin against someone I am demonstrating my perception of how much (or little) I  respect, cherish, assess, and esteem that person and our relationship.  Forgiveness is similar.  You are saying to that person “I DO value our relationship, I value YOU more than what you have done.”  How much does God value me?  How much does He value our relationship?  Enough to send His only Son to die.  Do I recognize that value in myself?  Do I believe that I am worth it?  I tend to have a hard time with that.  I beat myself up when I stumble, and at times I have looked at myself and seen no redeeming qualities.  Forgiveness is funny because it is not always about someone else.  I need to learn to forgive myself.  I need to learn to see the value in me that God sees.  And on the other side of the fence, I need to ask for forgiveness… because it demonstrates the same thing.  When I sin against someone and refuse to seek forgiveness then I am demonstrating how little I value that relationship, what worth I attribute to that person.  And when I don’t seek forgiveness from God…


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